It is obvious that human beings suffer.  Buddha was quoted as saying “Life is suffering.”

In contrast, many years ago, someone taught me that “Suffering is optional.”  Somewhere in between that observation and what we long for as possibilities in our lives is a middle ground that beautifully holds the tension and exhilaration of how to reconnect with, and respond to, our innate desire to live Heaven on Earth, both externally and internally.

My work, my heart, and my life is dedicated to assisting people in living lives that bring Heaven to Earth.  How is that possible? By each of us living as their highest and finest expression of who we truly, authentically are…unapologetically, yet grounded in the innate guidance that our individual Spirit offers us in every moment, if we’ll but listen.

One of the catches to this, though…living such a life of alignment with one’s Spirit has to be done no matter what our circumstances may be and (here’s the real clincher for a lot of folks) no matter what others may think.

We all know well the voices of the “Monkey Mind,” or ego, that tell us we can’t be this way, shouldn’t do that, don’t dare say “xyz” to someone, for fear of reaction and rejection.

We tend to forget that we’re born with a freedom and sense of unlimited possibility…no limitations residing within us.  Yet, within our families and within our school experiences, that sense of “no limitations” gets squashed, distorted, adapted, and compromised to the point that we often lose track of where the “real” us – our essence – begins and the “socially acceptable” us ends.  In maintaining the latter, we get tired, confused, frustrated, self-doubting, self-judgmental, short-tempered, shut down, and disconnected.

This effort ultimately wears us out, and the negative energies that can get so rampant leak out on our children (if we have any), on our colleagues, our spouses/partners, and back onto ourselves.  This cycle is one I’ve seen with so many people.  It’s a cycle I’ve lived and still live if I’m not paying attention, staying connected to my highest self and truth….and, if I’m not living and practicing love as much as humanly possible.

It may be considered a cliche (though I believe cliches become cliches because there’s a lot of proven truth to them) that – as the Beatles said – “Love is all you need.”  My contention is that Heaven on Earth is achievable at ANY moment simply by returning to our connection to love…not just self-love (as critical as that is), but love, period.

Not loving yourself and feeling like crap?  Love someone or something else.  In that moment, perhaps you’ll notice you’re living Heaven on Earth.

I invite you to try that practice today, and then comment on this post to share your experience when you do that one simple thing.  Or, if you believe it just couldn’t be that simple…let me know that, too.

I’m taking a non-patriotic slant on today’s holiday and in this post.

I want to riff on a Spiritual Perspective on this Independence Day, before the day’s fully over.  First, though, I need to offer a brief bit of historical background that will help my perspective make a lot more sense to you reading it.

I spent 16 years in the Corporate world, 9 of them in Upper Management positions.  I was really great at what I did, too.  I worked an average of 6 days per week, often 7.  When I got home to my wife and kids, I said hi to my wife and kids, and then worked until dinner was ready.  Often, I’d go back to working after dinner, pausing long enough to say good-night to my youngest (the other being 14 years older than the youngest), followed by a few hours more work until I went to bed exhausted…only to get up at 5 am the next day to do it all again.

When I didn’t have work to do for my employer, I would start working on the to=do list(s) that were already building.  I gained 100 pounds, made great money, and became frighteningly disconnected from my self and my loved ones.  But, I didn’t notice, because I was climbing that corporate ladder.  I was BUSY!!  I was WORKING!!!  Was there anything more to do than that?

I was convinced I was doing the right thing that all men were supposed to be doing…providing for my family, no matter what.  What was I getting out of the deal?  A good paycheck, poor health, a sense of emotional barrenness, and complete disconnection from my Spirit, myself, and my family.

At 35, the Universe sent me a message I couldn’t avoid, to get my attention.  After 5 weeks of being virtually physically immobilized, I saw that something was really wrong.  I lost the weight, did a lot of painful work on myself, got my heart back (particularly through a profound re-connection with Spirit that I’d resisted for 20 years prior to that), re-deepened my marriage, got to know my kids (and let them know me), and I left a career (and job) that was killing me emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

What I went towards was the career I’ve had for the last 13 years as a Relationships & Mid-Life Transitions Coach & Counselor…a path I love to this day.  What was the secret to making this radical shift that so many wish they could do?  It’s really simple.

I stopped ignoring my heart.  I got the sense of how fatal the never-ending TO-DO list was ultimately going to be if I didn’t get off the treadmill of never stopping…never resting.  I listened to my sacred voice and guidance, and decided life was too short to keep being a Human Do-ing, rather than a human Be-ing.  I decided that following my Spirit’s guidance and needs was far more important than fulfilling on others’ expectations and my own terrors of what I could and couldn’t do.  My body and psyche literally stopping me in my tracks, to the point of literal physical and emotional immobility.  Was it easy?   Hell no.

But, hell was no longer acceptable for me to be living.

What’s this all got to do with the Fourth of July, you’re probably wondering about now, if not earlier?  It’s a true fable offered to reflect a vital lesson and share coffee-chat relevancy that’s never to late to get…as well as a Spiritual lesson for you to consider.

Ultimately, in my experience, the most direct path to Spirit is the one we find and feel in our connection to our heart…and to LOVE.  My heart is almost always available to me when I stop long enough to remember I have one.  Then, I actually have to check in with it, to see what it’s really feeling.  From there, I always end up being much clearer on who I really am, what Spirit’s trying to get me to notice for guidance & clarity, and how I’m to best offer my heart-guided actions and energies to my own well-being, to my family, to my community, and then to the world that needs a whole lot more LOVE going around more each day.

Independence Day in our country celebrates the end of our Country’s slavery to England.  Now, it’s also an opportunity to to end the tyranny not of a formerly sovereign nation, but an energy that has us convinced of its sovereignty over our life…BUSY-NESS!  DOING!!  We must, personally and as a culture, break free from the tyranny of the inexhaustible TO-DO list. Without doing that, our light – Spirit’s light as it shines through each of us – remains a little penlight beam we tolerate, rather than being the flood of light that’s always waiting for us to share with the world and ourselves.

For many of you, tomorrow’s a holiday.  Use it to practice independence from the To-Do’s, and try implementing your freedom as a Human Be-ing!  Don’t even look at a To-Do list tomorrow, but simply take the time to consciously and deliberately check in with – and feel – your heart, find out what it wants to do, and just do it…whatever it takes.  See how much that changes your life and those of the people around you who are just waiting for your LOVE-Light to shine.  Swap your To-Do list for a To-Be List.

Join your host Geoff Laughton for a two part series as he talks with Dr. Jenni Skyler. Jenni is a sex therapist and b Director of The Intimacy Institute for sex and relationship therapy in Boulder, Colorado. She holds a doctorate in Clinical Sexology, a Master of Education in Counseling Psychology, and has worked in the field of sexual health as a therapist, educator, and public health consultant since 2005. Currently, Dr. Jenni is an expert author on www.SexualHealth.com and writes three columns: Sophisticated Sex for The Boulder Weekly; Sexy Shabbos with Dr. Jenni for Boulder Jewish News, and Sunday Sex Talk with Dr. Jenni on www.BuffSecret.com.

Join your host Geoff Laughton for a two part series as he talks with Dr. Jenni Skyler. Jenni is a sex therapist and b Director of The Intimacy Institute for sex and relationship therapy in Boulder, Colorado. She holds a doctorate in Clinical Sexology, a Master of Education in Counseling Psychology, and has worked in the field of sexual health as a therapist, educator, and public health consultant since 2005. Currently, Dr. Jenni is an expert author on www.SexualHealth.com and writes three columns: Sophisticated Sex for The Boulder Weekly; Sexy Shabbos with Dr. Jenni for Boulder Jewish News, and Sunday Sex Talk with Dr. Jenni on www.BuffSecret.com.