Well being means different things to different people.  One thing I know, though, is we don’t “have” it unless we’re intending for it, focusing on it, putting attention on it, and really committing to it (kinda sounds like most things in life, doesn’t it?).  For those of us who are in any Spiritually oriented, it also doesn’t hurt to throw in a prayer, chant, or mantra to bring in some Divine help.  I want to share what I hold as a prayer, though the Buddhists that developed what I’m about to share may differ with me in calling it that.

Regardless, I offer it into the blogosphere as something  you can say to yourself every day to prime the pump for having a day that can be full of well-being.  It also might not be a bad idea to say it for all others, as well, given we’re all in the same boat of wanting, desiring, and deserving well-being.  It’s called “Reflection On Well-Being:”

May I abide in well-being

In freedom from affliction

In freedom from hostility

In freedom from ill-will

In freedom from anxiety

And may I  maintain well-being in myself.

May everyone abide in well-being

In freedom from affliction

In freedom from hostility

In freedom from ill-will

In freedom from anxiety

And may they maintain well-being in themselves.

May all beings be released from all suffering

And may they not be parted from

The good fortune they have attained.

When they act upon intention

All being are the owners of their action

And inherit its results.

Their future is born from such action

Companion to such action

And its results will be their home.

All actions with intention,

Be they skillful or harmful,

Of such acts, they will be the heirs.

Three of the most important words in any language are “I Love You.” At the same time, they are three of the easiest words to simply toss off, as mundanely and cursorily as “Don’t forget to take out the trash before you go.” How many times have you, or someone you love – usually when leaving each other’s company for awhile, like when leaving for work – said, “Love you!”…or, upon hearing that said to you, say back, “Love you too,” as you frantically look for your car keys or your PDA?

Today, on Valentine’s Day, it can be just as perfunctory to tell your loved ones that you love them, give them some flowers, candy, a nice meal out, or – for some – sweeping your partner off their feet into the bedroom for outrageously juicy sex for the first time in awhile. Yet, at the risk of being maudlin, do we often REALLY stop to realize that that casually tossed off “Love you!” could be the final words you and a loved one exchange? Do we often pay attention to how much we take our love, and lovers/partners, for granted?

My wife and I saw the movie “The Last Station” yesterday, about the life and marriage of Leo Tolstoy & his wife Sofya. All the clear dysfunctions of their marriage aside, there was an incredible love between them that endured for 48 years. It made me think about my wife, with whom I’ve been partnered for 28 years. The film reconnected me with the true preciousness and value of love like that…the love in the film, the love I have for my wife Sarah, and the love she has for me, after all the years, trials, and challenges.

In noticing how much younger Sarah and I are NOT getting, it struck me that every day is Valentine’s Day, if we just stay awake and present to the gifts that we have in our most valuable and fulfilling relationships.

I invite you readers to make this Valentine’s Day, and of course every day, special by doing the following things, starting today (if you haven’t already done so):

• While with your loved ones today (and each day), actually stop and take a moment to take a deep breath, feel into your own body, and then just watch that loved one for a few minutes…feeling into what you love about them; particularly, look at something you love about them that you either haven’t noticed in awhile and/or haven’t said anything to them about in a long while.

• Make the time to pull a loved one close to you, especially your spouse/partner if you have one and your children, and instead of just saying “I love you,
  actually tell them at least two things about them that you love and appreciate about them.  If you can find something to name that you don’t tend to acknowledge them for very often, use that/those.

• Tell a loved one or three how their presence in your life has most recently made a meaningful difference in your life…then, thank them for that gift.

• Tell them how that meaningful difference your loved one’s love has made in your life has been or will be paid forward to others in your life that could use it.  Be sure you’re doing your best to actually FEEL what you’re sharing, so the energy not only goes to your loved one but recirculates back throughout your heart and Spirit.

• Lastly, remember that our love is what actually bodily connects us to Spirit and can remind us of who we truly are as Divine Beings; take that love in for yourself, thank Spirit, and feel the glow that this, and the other practices I’ve outlined above, will generate throughout your whole body, mind, and heart.

It ain’t a box of chocolates, but it will be better for you and much longer lasting!  Happy Love Day to you all today and every day.

The average bear makes thousands of decisions per day, not to mention how many more are under our conscious radar. We’ve all had decisions that get us to go, “Oh my God, what was I thinking?”

We can’t undo the ones we’ve made in the past, be they brilliant or bonehead-ed. However, it’s never too late to improve the process, eh?

Below is a short piece on an exercise to do to sharpen your decision-making process and bases. It comes verbatim from one of my mentors, David Neagle (http://www.davidneagle.com).  I invite you to try it out.  Is it easy?  No, it isn’t…but then again, I’m beginning to realize that easy is WAAYYYY over-rated.  Enjoy and comment back to let me know how it works for you and what you notice shifts in your life!

“When I am personally in a moment of indecision, I use this exact tool to bring myself right in line with my purpose.

Get yourself a notebook that you can easily carry around with you. For one week, I want you to write down what your true motive or reason is for every decision you make. Yes, I mean EVERY decision!

It might look like this…

1) Decision: Get a cup of coffee,
Why: I love coffee, or because that’s what I always drink in the morning.

2) I get asked to go out to dinner.
Decision: I reply ‘yes’.
Why: So as not to hurt their feelings, but truthfully I would rather stay home.

3) I am asked if I can run an errand, or complete a project, for someone else.
Decision: I reply ‘yes’.
Why: I don’t want to let anyone down, even though I don’t have the time right now.

4) The family wants to go to Disney on vacation but I would like to go to Hawaii.
Decision: I agree on Disney
Why: in order to keep the peace and make others happy.

So many people are not happy, and yet they continue to build their fears, resentments and angers because they never express their true motives, intentions and reasons.

This might seem simple, but its wisdom runs miles deep.”

It is obvious that human beings suffer. I used to think that that was my lot in life.  But, years ago, someone told and taught me that “Suffering is optional.”

Somewhere in between that observation, and living it, is a middle ground that beautifully holds the tension and exhilaration of how to answer and respond to our innate desire to live heaven on earth, both externally and internally.  Putting that journey as both a priority and  commitment allows you to co-create a life aligned with your Spirit – no matter what your  circumstances may be.

We all know well the voices of the Monkey Mind, or ego, that tell us we can’t be this way, shouldn’t do that, don’t dare say “xyz” to someone, etc., for fear of reaction and rejection.  We tend to forget that we’re born with a freedom and innate sense of unlimited possibility…a life of no limitations within us.

Yet, within our families and within our school experiences, that sense of “no limits” gets squashed, distorted, adapted, and compromised to the point that we often lose track of where the “real” us – our essence – begins and the “socially acceptable” us ends.  In maintaining the latter, we get tired, confused, frustrated, self-doubting, self-judgmental, short-tempered, shut down, and disconnected.  This effort ultimately wears us out, and the negative energies that can get so rampant leak out on our children (if we have any), on our colleagues, our spouses/partners, and back onto ourselves.  This cycle is unenlightened – and optional – suffering, as opposed to the Buddhist sense of enlightening suffering.

A way I’ve learned to minimize, if not eliminate, that kind of repetitive suffering is to 1) realize how illusory it really is; 2) how much the Ego likes to have us believe the alleged reality of it, so that it keeps perpetuating its disempowering domination of our creativity & freedom; 3) hang out with people, teachers, and coaches who appear to get the cosmic joke and have transcended it; 4) create a team around you – personal and professional – that can support you in moving beyond your stuckness in suffering; and 5) try on devoting your life to using and giving your gifts and talents in the service of returning to, and remembering, your Divine, True Essence that you were born with. This is the Essence that never stops shining, emanating joy, and giving itself as an expression of love and freedom no matter what.

May seem easier said than done, right?  To some extent, that’s true.  Stay tuned to this blog in the next few days to learn about one way you can move more fully in this direction if you’re ready to choose the option of not suffering.  In the meantime, try starting with simply choosing to notice, for one day as a starter, what’s going right in your life at the moment.  Then, be grateful down to your toes for it.

It’s kind of a funny thing, that expression “It scared me to death.”  In my work with people, and in my own personal life, one of the biggest components of happiness, success, obstacles, or challenges always seems to boil down to one thing: FEAR.  Now, you may think you know what fear means…you certainly know what it feels like…but let me paraphrase a definition I like a lot: False Energies Appearing Real.  I have come to see that one of the biggest obstacles to peace and healthy relationships is FEAR.

So, in thinking about how many times I’ve said, “I’m scared to death to do….,” or “I think I’ll do that later, because I’m just scared to death of what might happen,“…or, “I’ll talk with him/her next week, because I’m scared to death of how they might react (That one sound familiar to those of you out there with spouses/partners?)”, I realized that a major shift in perspective is so essential for us to really have what we want.  This is certainly true in romantic relationships, but particularly relevant to our success in life, in general, as well.

What if, instead of relating to the fears we have as stops, we used them as indicators and signs of positive actions & directions ready to happen?

I have so often used fear to stop me, not catching on to the opportunity the fear is presenting me to take the next step(s) towards greatness…great results in my business, great health, and/or even greater levels of connection to my wife, who I’ve been with for 28 years now.  A coach I work with reminded me that, if you’re really scared, it’s a sure sign you’re ready to grow exponentially.  Oy!  I’ve always interpreted it to mean it’s time to stop and/or wait…until it’s safe.  Wait until there’s enough control.  Or, wait until I’m SURE that the result is predictable and assured.  At 52, I have gotten old enough – and, presumably wiser – to look back and see how many opportunities for love, wealth, connection, and peace have been missed because I was relating to my fear the wrong way.

So, my offering to you today is: stop letting feel scared to death stop you (unless such a level of fear’s attached to the reality of an oncoming car making its way towards your certain annihilation unless you move out the way); instead, try spending a day (just for starters!) being committed – NO MATTER WHAT –  to being Scared Back To Life.

Let me know how it turns out for you!