Archive for April, 2011
What Are You Waiting For?
One of the most common things I hear from clients is along the lines of “When I [fill in the blank], I’ll be able to/will do [fill in the blank].” That may be talking to their spouse/partner about something that has been bothering them for years, and keeping them in a constant state of withheld intimacy. It may be finally going for the dream career that they’ve pined for for years. Maybe it’s to actually start doing the self-care regimen that has been put off for years. Whatever it is, I’m sure you can easily pinpoint what it is you keep putting off for whenever the moon and stars are perfectly aligned for, before you’ll allow yourself to take the leap into some desire.
The one exception to this seems to be when we feel like we have no other choice (or, in fact, we don’t). When given what seems to be no other viable option – usually after being hit with the proverbial “Cosmic Two-by-Four” like a requested divorce, loss of a loved one, loss of a job, or any other pretty lethal disappointment/life-changer – we will finally confront one of the (if not only) forms of true freedom we really have: the freedom to make our own choices.
Yet, we avoid this in so many ways, both subtle and blatant. We do this, in one way or another, as we watch so much drama, change, and devastation happening on the planet, with people & families, and with our pictures of what we thought life would/could be like. Relationships are prime ground for this to happen in on a daily basis. When I work with people on their relationship, there is often a seemingly endless succession of opportunities for intimacy, expansion, healing, and relief that ll get postponed for various reasons that, to the person telling them to me, all seem perfectly reasonable! Unfortunately, for so many of us, we’ve settled for those perfectly reasonable justifications for not going for what we’re really wanting, or sharing what we’re truly feeling, for weeks, months, or years…and, the whole time, wondering why we’re not happier!
This has me asking myself (you bet I’m doing it, too), my friends, and my clients a question that seems to me to be one of the most critical and profound questions any of us should be asking ourselves and anyone we care about: “What are you waiting for?” (In moments of heightened passion for this question, it may be shortened to “Wtf are you waiting for?”)
When I was at David Neagle’s “Breaking Free Live Event” a few weeks ago, he showed a film called “I Am Alive: Surviving The Andes Plane Crash.” (This is ONLY available on iTunes, in the TV show section, by the way, for $3.99) It is a documentary, done by the History Channel, on the 1972 plane crash where 42 soccer players found their plane crashing in the Andes in the dead of winter, and how the survivors dealt with the choices of what it would take to be able to survive. There were two men who decided to risk being able to reach help, rather than just sit and wait in the fuselage of the plane for the certain death that was going to be unavoidable.
One of the most stunning questions that emerged from watching this film was what would it take in my life, for me to choose to take the risks of climbing out to seek a chance of life (which, in their case, meant walking across Andes summits without the benefit of today’s modern extreme weather gear) versus the certainty of death were I to do nothing but wait to die. For me, I’ve actually already faced that choice on numerous occasions in my life. Because you’re the one reading this right now, I put the question to you!
What are you willing to let yourself die to in your internal set of pictures about who you are, and what you’re capable of, in order to have the chance to LIVE? The men who got help in 1972 were willing to risk death to be able to live, and help their comrades live. In your relationships, be it with your love partner, your children, your best friends…what are you willing to die for to be able to know you’re truly living to your (and that particular relationship’s) fullest potential and passionate longings. What gifts does your relationship have to offer to others besides the two of you that aren’t getting to be given, because you’re hanging out in the fuselage waiting for some miracle?
To not even ask that question – much less have the courage I know it takes to really listen to the answer from your heart and Spirit, rather than your ego – seems to me a death sentence of a different sort. In light, again, of all the MASSIVE unrest and shifting that’s happening all around us, and scaring the living doo-doo out of so many people, there is no other question…seems to me, anyway…that may be more important right now. Our children…our grandchildren…the generations coming after us…are all waiting for us to ask not only that question, but also: “What am I waiting for?”
In case you need some supporting arguments for why this is so critical, besides my opinions, and/or what it might take, download “I Am Alive,” and – just as importantly – go see the film now playing in many theaters called “I Am.” This is one of the most important films I’ve ever seen (to learn more, and see if it’s playing near you, go to: I Am Website.
Whatever your heart, your Spirit, guide you to do…my challenge to myself, and to you, is to – at the very least – pick one thing to stop waiting for…and, if you can’t seem to get there, remember you don’t have to do it by yourself (hell, I don’t even think we can do it by ourselves).
I would really love to hear what comes up for you about this topic and article. If you would be willing to share, and would want it to be anonymous, please email me at laughtoncoach@gmail.com. If you’re willing to have your experiences be of more immediate use and support for others trying to figure all this stuff out too, I invite you to post a comment or a note, to my Living Your Spirit Now Facebook fan page (click here: geoff’s fan page).
Geoff Laughton Presents “5 Ways to Boost Self Care for The Busy Entrepreneur
Michelle Hastie, featured coach in Shape Magazine and founder of Total Body Health Solutions, teaches the 7 Step System, “7 Ways to Lose Weight While Living Your Life,” to help busy entrepreneurs, moms and just plain exhausted individuals utilize their bodies natural internal systems to achieve their ideal body. After struggling with her own weight, Michelle, owner of Total Body Health Solutions seeks to be the certified coach that inspires you to live a healthy slim life. She spent time, money and energy obsessing over her weight gain and found no answers to remove it quickly. After a tragic car accident, Michelle lost weight sitting on the couch, unable to move. She became inspired to learn why, and also removed all the rest of her weight while enjoying all of the foods she loves, and only performing the movements she is excited about. Total Body Health Solutions began as a personal training business in August of 2008 and quickly evolved into a unique organization to remove unwanted weight with an emphasis in the mental and emotional reasons we reserve our pounds. www.totalbodhealthsolutions.com 800-615-4946 info@totalbodyhealthsolutions.com http://www.facebook.com/#!/totalbodyhealthsolutions http://www.facebook.com/#!/michelleleighhastie http://twitter.com/#!/MichelleHastie
Geoff Laughton Presents Joanna Kennedy Dedicating Her Life To Helping People Take Off Their Masks
Joanna is committed to re-uniting the authentic masculine and feminine. Formally an engineer and high-tech manager, she has spent the last 9 years studying relationship dynamics, sacred sexuality, partner yoga as well as cellular & emotional healing. Joanna now owns and directs The Center for Greater Loving where she offers private sessions, products, and workshops that help liberate men and women to be their natural selves, have passionate sex lives, and create deeply loving relationships. She dedicates her life to helping men and women take off their masks, be themselves, and remember the power and potential of love. Maximizing Chemistry: Enjoy an hour of laughter and inspiration while you discover the power, passion and joy that arise when the authentic masculine and feminine re-unite with each other. Learn how attraction, passion and chemistry in relationship require the interplay of masculine and feminine energies. You’ll see why so many relationships fizzle without this key component and you’ll leave knowing the secret ingredient needed to create happy, satisfying relationships with lasting chemistry! We’ll answer these questions: What is masculine and feminine energy? Why is it an essential component of lasting chemistry? What is my natural essence – masculine or feminine? How can I attract the partner I truly want? How do we create lasting passion? Joanna Kennedy 303-956-2796 joanna@greaterloving.com www.greaterloving.com twitter.com/greaterloving facebook.com/greaterloving
What’s Your Dream Relationship?
To me, one of the greatest goals that I hear a lot of people, from adolescence on, tout as a key objective in their lives is to find their “dream relationship,” or “dream partner.” When I ask them what such a thing, or person, would look like, there has often been a list given that is both Hollywood-ized, to a degree, but also tends to be all about what that other person, or the relationship, is going to provide them. Having that Mr. or Ms. McDreamy is going to make their life SO much better. In such a scenario, an inordinate amount of power gets given over to that other person and/or entity.
This is an almost certain recipe for failure; even if the relationship itself lasted, it would be choked off of it’s passion and juiciness potential by what would be an ever-growing haze of co-dependency, marked by an equally ever-growing resentment that always builds when someone on whom we depend to take care of our needs doesn’t get the job done.
A much healthier set-up is when we first develop the relationship with ourselves into which a person can step in a way where they are not being seen as a power source, but rather as a kind of amplifier…someone who amplifies that relationship we have with ourself, and adds new components. This synergy can create a separate, inter-dependent entity that – in my way of feeling anyway – would help weave a love partnership that reflects the truest Soul qualities of each partner and mirrors, in form, the fusion of Heaven & Earth…mind, body, and Spirit, that the picture here (painting at left copyrighted by DJ Sie) represents for me.
In noted Spiritual Teacher and Author, Mary Manin Morrissey’s book, “Building Your Field Of Dreams,” she offers five questions that we can use to “test” our dreams…to see, in my read of it, whether what we think is a dream we have for our life is, at the very least, in alignment with our Highest Good and the highest and best available learning our Spirit wants for us.
Again, though, the health and success of any relationship is inextricably woven with what the health or dis-ease is in our relationship with ourselves. So, I am sharing these questions with you and inviting you to go through each one of them in the context of your love for, and relationship with, yourself first. Then, if you are currently in a love relationship with a partner, see what answers emerge in regard to your partner and relationship.
Doing this will allow you to both more deeply appreciate yourself, your partner, and your relationship (or not), and serve as both a preventative and healing tool in those relationships. Why? Because it will reveal how much of a burdensome, unnecessary weight your love relationship is carrying…the burden of of projected needs and expectations that a healthy, thriving love for yourself would provide in a far more lasting and enduring way, no matter what’s happening in your relationship with your partner. When we can “catch” that, we can take such projections off our partner (or any external relationship) and re-true our relationship with ourselves…that then frees up our love relationship to be of a totally different (and healthier) purpose.
Here are the questions…take your time going through them, and answer them from your heart far more than from your mind. Any question that yields a “No” response is an indicator that you probably would be well-served to then ask yourself what you would need to do and/or adjust within you (not your partner) to be on track towards a “Yes” answer:
- Does/will the relationship/dream enliven me?
- Does/will the relationship/dream align with my core values?
- Do/will I need help from a higher Source to make this dream/relationship realized?
- Does/will this relationship/dream require me to grow into more of my True Self?
- Does/will this relationship/dream ultimately bless others?
Be sure that, if you take on doing this “test,” that you pay attention to whatever feelings come up as you ask yourself each question. Notice how the feelings may differ when you’re applying it to your relationship with yourself versus applying it to a past or current love relationship that was extremely important to you. By the way, this is really applicable to every relationship…I think this is a great test to apply to how we hold and interact with our relationships with co-workers, our children, our family, etc.
I would really love to hear what comes up for you when you do this exercise, both out of my obvious attraction to the exercise, but also as part of research I’m doing for an upcoming book and class on relationship I’m in the midst of creating. If you would be willing to share what came up and what you learned with me, and would want it to be anonymous, please email me at laughtoncoach@gmail.com. If you’re willing to have your experiences be of more immediate use and support for others trying to figure all this relationship stuff out, I invite you to post a comment or a note, to my Living Your Spirit Now Facebook fan page (click here: Geoff’s Fan Page).
I hope you enjoy, and get illuminated (maybe even a bit uncomfortable) by, doing this exercise…and will seriously take on using whatever you learn to continually deepen, align, and expand your relationship to yourself – and your Beloved – towards the limitless places of connection and expansion that I feel are totally possible to live in.
Geoff Laughton Presents “How Classical Homeopathy Works” With Rebecca Koeppen
I am a Wholistic Health Consultant and Wholistic Health Educator specializing in Classical Homeopathy. I was trained at the National Center for Homeopathy, and in Belgium with Dr Jacques G. Imberects. I have had a private practice for 33 yrs first in Massachusetts and now in Colorado.